 |
| One of the stars of the night sky had begun to change. This star had always been a very tiny star, of no importance at all. It had shone up there for billions and trillions and sillions of years in the Constellation of Orion, that great shape of the giant hunger that strides across space on autumn and winter nights. in all its time this tiny star had never changed in any way. Now, suddenly, it began to get bigger. |
In the style of the Author Ted Hughes, write the next part of the story.
Within a second a star bursted into the sky and it divided to 4 groups.(why is it getting bigger) they started to unite together.
ReplyDeleteNice fronted adverbial (within a second) K'Shaun. Just remember to use a comma afterwards. Can you rewrite it below with this improvement?
Delete"I can see a star, it is getting bigger" whispered the astronomer, surprised. "I want to have a look now" replied the other astronomer. To be continued...
ReplyDeleteI like the way you used alternative words for said like 'whispered' and 'replied'. What other words could you have used to describe how the astronomers were speaking to one another?
DeleteEvery night, the star grew biger and biger and BIGER! It changed coulers like red, purple, blue and pink and INFA RED
ReplyDeleteThink about what happens to the root word 'big' when we add the suffix -er. Can you write the improved sentence below?
DeleteDuring the night,the teeny weeny star started growing it was changing colour red,blue,gold,silver and infra red so we called the astronomer's to come and take a look they said it was unusual and they haft to send a misile to blow it up.So when they did tiny bit's of iron flake's came out and then...
ReplyDeleteI think the adjectives 'teeny weeny' are great to describe how the star started out. To improve this paragraph you can think about how we spell the word have in past tense?
DeleteEvery minute, the star grew bigger and bigger and BIGGER. Until it covered the sky with the BRIGHTEST LIGHT EVER!
ReplyDeleteAt night everyone was so amazed and couldn't believe what they had seen. The children thought it was morning so they stayed up ALL NIGHT. After, they looked in the window and saw that the sky was covered with the BRIGHTEST LIGHT EVER! The children felt wasted because they were awake all day."What a Waste" To be continued...
Excellent use of a comma after your time fronted adverbial 'after a minute'.
DeleteSuddenly the star began to get bigger and bigger and BIGGER so big like it was going to explode. It chang collar first was puple red bule gold. It got shiny, a min To be continud.
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed reading about all if the different colours which the star had changed to. Remember to put commas in when you are writing lists. Can you write the edited version below?
DeleteAt night time, the star got bigger and bigger and BIGGER. Also, the star was changing colour how strange the colours were red purple infra red blue to continued
ReplyDeleteNice use if the rule of 3 to describe how the star got bigger.
DeleteSuddenly, from know where a colourful star when shooting down from the dark sky in the middle of the night when I was with my family doing fire work then I covered my head with Branches because the star was coming closer to men to be continued.
ReplyDeleteWhy did the astronomers cover their head?
DeleteDuring the night, the astronomers looked through the telescope and saw the blazing star grew bigger and bigger. The astronomers shouted " the blazing star is coming down like lightning". to be continued...
ReplyDeleteNice use of a simile to describe how the star was moving.
DeleteIt was a GAINT METEOR going heading straight for the astronomers faster than the speed of lightning .As they braced for impact the meteor stopped right INFRONT of them. They had no idea of what was going on. They studied it while they had the chance
ReplyDelete'Braced for impact' - what an exceptional Adverbial phrase to give more details about the astronomers.
DeleteI also like the way you used the pronoun 'they' instead of repeating the word astronomers to keep the flow of your writing.
DeleteRieon i like your description that you did i even like the word GIANT METEOR.I even liked the word faster than a speed of lightning.
DeleteBUT it got bigger, bigger and as quick as a flash...
ReplyDelete...what happened!! Please finish it, you've got me excited now!
DeleteThis is a cool mystery so can you tell us what happen's next or do we predict it ?
DeleteThis time we aren't going to predict it, instead we're going to read the rest of the chapter and you are going to imagine the events in your head. After this, you are going to draw a story map including some of the key vocabulary to help you retell the story.
DeleteDuring the night, the astronomers were looking at the star with worried frowns. The star was getting bigger and bigger and bigger. Everyone was staring up into the sky and they always stared at the tiny star getting bigger . The star was bigger than a rocket and was bigger than the moon and was bigger than Jupiter. If it hit the world at that speed the world would be blasted to bits. And if it exploded on earth then it would look colourful and bright .
ReplyDeleteI love how you remembered a comma after your first fronted adverbial, what other fronted adverbial have you used where you could also place a comma?
Delete